1. When you submit your site to topsites, and you get a code but when you search the topsite it says your site cant be found?

Verifications process? Rejected site? Do check with them. There's a contact us form for a reason.

2. When a topsite crashes and leaves a bunch of text on your site.

The reciprocal link image is broken when a topsite crashes therefore it changes into link. It's annoying, so do check with topsites regularly and remove the broken codes.

3. The topsite buttons, make your site load slower.

Yeah, they are to blame. Badly optimize gifs and jpegs. Report the owner of the topsite.