[Christmas Promotion Day 18] Letters to Santa!

Dear Father Christmas,

How are you? Has anyone given you any presents yet this christmas? I hope you are well. I would love to win some development tools this christmas, for my charitable web hosting company (all profits to charity), SilentFlame, could do with some extra support. I think that it would prove beneficial to all of my members, and more money would go to those who need it most.

Thanks, Xyrael

Dear Santa, Sir.

It's my family you see, my dog, he has lepracy, if i don't pay the vet he will be shipped of f to a place to die with other leper dogs. My wife, she has teretz, sometimes it isn't have bad "You are "$%%ing brilliant" good timing. Sometimes . .not so great, very sad for the kids. Both my kids, they, they are marshmellow men! Have you ever. . .ever thought what it might be like to be a father to two marshmellows, a leper dog and a wife with teretz . .

With this gift mr santa sir, i can provide new life for this family, it will be a seed for our development into a new, a new prosperous family, and next year, you can come and see what that seed has grown into.
--

Originally Posted by morphmaster Dear Santa, Sir. It's my family you see, my dog, he has lepracy, if i don't pay the vet he will be shipped of f to a place to die with other leper dogs. My wife, she has teretz, sometimes it isn't have bad "You are "$%%ing brilliant" good timing. Sometimes . .not so great, very sad for the kids. Both my kids, they, they are marshmellow men! Have you ever. . .ever thought what it might be like to be a father to two marshmellows, a leper dog and a wife with teretz . . With this gift mr santa sir, i can provide new life for this family, it will be a seed for our development into a new, a new prosperous family, and next year, you can come and see what that seed has grown into. --

how the heck did you know how to spell leopracy???? my leper fmily has spots i swear! goddamn they're leopers!

lol :reindeer:

ay?

Dear Santa,

All i want is some Viagra for my husband, Im sure you understand.

Love, Miss Santa

Dear Santa.

For a guy who hires foreign midgits and unlicenced (and possibly endangered animals) all the time, you must have a lot of trouble with the man. So since it's Christmas and I'm feeling awfully festive I thought I'd offer my services in taking that vBulletin licence off your hands.

Don't even think about lying to me! I mean who actually expects a vBulletin licence under their tree? Could you even put it under your tree? I mean, wouldn't you need to put a computer under their tree as well showing them the vBulletin licence? Anyway, I know all about your plans of using it to create a pokemon forum and using it to lure small children into working in your workshop. For shame!

It is Christmas however, so I think I can forgive you. Of course, to keep my mouth shut, you know what to do.

Eagerly Awaiting.
Mike.

Dear Satan Claus – Devourer of Children’s Souls,

This year, I have been a very Ritalin-addled little TV watcher. I have compulsively embezzeled, and I have always helped my daddy with their pyramid schemes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of age-inappropriate pants this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring the onset of menopause. For my daddy, please bring a new topaz-studded ass plug. For my little sister, please bring a diaphragm. For my ferret, please bring breath mints. Oh – and for my mail man, please bring some work ethic.

Now about me! Please bring me all of the Anna Nicole Smith action figures, and front row tickets to Britney Spears – plus backstage passes so I can get airborne Chlamydia! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my amputee Afghan orphan. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

Anyway, I hope you like the eight-ball I left out for you.

Breathlessly,

Dan

PS: Please say hi to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Robson? He has been a really perverted vivisection hobbyist all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog **** in their stocking. Thanks!

I'd like a friend?

When god created the woman he was already 6 days working overtime. Then this angel appeared and said: Why do you spend so much time to this model? And the lord answered: Have you seen to which conditions my creation does have to satisfy? She must be flexible, have 200 moveable parts that could be replaced, she must function on cola light and left-overs, she must have a lap where 4 children can sit on, a kiss that can heal everything, and she can have only 1 couple hands.

The angel had been overwhelmed by all conditions: 1 couple of hands! Not to believe! And that is the standard model? That is too much work for 1 day.

She must heal her self if she is sick and work 18 hours on a day.
The angel approached and touched the woman. “you have made her gentle lord." " She is gentle “: said the lord, but I have made her also very hard. You have no idea what she can experience or what she can get done.

“Can she think also?” asked the angel. The lord answered: She can not only think, she is also able argue matter and negotiate. Then the angel noticed something, he touched the cheek of the woman.

“Oops, I believe that this one leaks! You have put in to much."" that is no leaking”: the Lord corrected, “That is a tear”. “Where does a tear serve for?” asked the angel. The lord said: “The tear is her manner to express joy, suffer, pain, dissapointments, love, loneliness, desolation and pride.

The woman is really incredible. And that she is! Women have strengths which astonish men.
They endure lacks and carry burden, but hold on to luck, love and joy.
They smile when they want shout, They sing when they want to cry. They cry if they are glad and laugh if they are nervous. They fight for that where they believe in. They resist against injustice. They accept no ' no ' for an answer if they believe that there is a better solution, They take less, so that their family has more. They accompany a frightened friend to the doctor.
Their love is unconditional. They cry when their children exceed themselves and shout with joy when their friends win prices. They are glad with the news of a birth or marriage.
Their heart break if a friend dies. They regret the loss of a family member, but remain strong when they think that there is not enough strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can help to heal a broken. There are women in all measures, colours and forms. They will drive, flys, run, or mail to show you how much they care.
The heart of the woman ensures that the earth twists. They bring joy and hope. They have compassion and ideals. They support family and friends. Women have nature to say and give everything.

Women are fantastic and have only one error: They sometimes forget to think of themselves!!!!
And that Santa, is where you come, you will not forget these women!!!

From a Mother, Wife and Freelancer, a woman that is

Dear Santa,

History and facts are unstable to prove your existence. But your story and your good works i heard since i was a child, and it planted a seed of generousity in my heart since then. I am one of those you have personally touched by your awesome unselfish acts. You have done great and generous deeds not only to children, but also to the whole humanity. I want to mimic what you have done. I need the prizes offered in Talkfreelance as the vehicle to reach out to people, i deserve to win it because these tools can help me make a positive change to humanity.


Sincerely,
Jeffrey Wong