Allstar Web Designers/Developers Inquire Within

This is essentially a repost of a thread I had earlier, except with more information which means less questions in the end. I've answered most of them for you below. This thread is HUGE.

Who am I?
You can call me Josh. I'm ****ing awesome.

Okay, sweet... Do you want to give me money?
Of course, but only if you earn it.

Can you stop making this a story and more like a Looking to Hire thread?
No. This is more fun and I feel that it'll explain everything better.

What the hell is there to explain?
A lot of things.

Like...?
What I do.

What do you do?
My real life job is in marketing and consulting, but that doesn't matter. Internet-wise, I have accumulated quite the domain portfolio, which has earned an average professional appraisal of $60,000 (that's in USD - the declining dollar of todays economy).

Good for you.
Thanks.

You're really annoying.
I know.

Why am I still reading this?
Because you're entertained and you want in.

Are you a sexy, seductive female?
No, but I have pictures of some.

"LOL" then what do I want into?
What I plan to do with these domains.

Okay, explain.
The fun stops here.

Instead of selling these domains to developers themselves, or wholesale, I've decided to build a team to help me in developing websites, products, or services to accompany them. Progressively, I'd like to network the sites together and reel in boatloads of profit.

I'm looking for a designer or two, along with a guy to code the sites in proper XHTML/CSS (tables where apply). I have programmers taken care of, with a rockstar RoR guy and an stellar, bright PHP dev. Me? I'm a lot of things. I can do a bit of designing and I can code when need be. I'd rather be the business dude, though, as that what my schedule permits.

Pay is different, here, though. I've forked up a lot for the hosting, domains, and overall wear and tear on my mental state. With that being said and done, here's how it will work. There's nothing upfront, rather, when a given site (or the network) is sold, or any recurring income is made, it will be fairly distributed among the staff who have worked on said site. If that's what you're looking for, don't bother wasting my time and I won't waste yours. Instead, there's some math involved.

Say you're a designer, and I ask you to do a splash or coming soon page with some basic info about the site to generate hype (marketing must, look at Apple). The assignment is simple and doesn't take much, you'll be credited with x% (we'll be using actual numbers in these examples, but every percentage is negotiated to and agreed to beforehand, as well as put on paper). Change x to 5% - a realistic amount (I feel) for a splash. Say I decide to sell the site and I get $5,000 for it. You'll get 5% of that $5,000: $250. If you do a complete web design for it, I'll credit you 15%. Since both splash and design are included in the sale, you've done 20% of the work for that site, so you'll get 20% of the sale, which is $5,000. You'll make $1,000 for a splash and design. Sound good? It damn well better.

For recurring income (like subscriptions, premium services, etc), one can expect 7-15% + final sale numbers as discussed above. If there's $100 made in the first month from recurring income, then you'd get $7-15. If I hang onto that site for 5 years, you'll get 7-15% of the income for every month for each of those 5 years. So if the site ends up averaging $350/month for the subscription, service, whatever, and you get 11% (average between 7-15%) of $350 each of those 60 months (12 months in a year * 5 years), that's about $2,300 for doing easy stuff.

I will be be more than happy to write up a solid, finely combed contract for those who wish. Also, if you're in the USA and in school for some multimedia/design/related major, I'll be very open to financial assistance if you're qualified.

Speaking of qualifications, here's what I'm looking for in a team member (I don't give a **** about how qualified you are, how many degrees you have, or any certifications, as long as you're awesome at what you do, and awesome as a person):

• Be ****ing rad - I don't need nerds without a sense of humor. Have one, flont it, and I will like you. Good at Photoshop too? Awesome. You're hired.
• Good grammar. I pride myself on my grammatical skills, and you should on yours. This doesn't mean you need to type in caps when we talk via IM, or use big words that I don't know. Just dont type liek this u no wat i meen? u get wat im sayn? Because then, I don't care if you're a Photoshop GOD. I will ignore you.
• Be smart. Communicate well. And be really, really creative.
• Speak English damn good. I mean well.

Few things (I'm almost done, I promise.)

• I don't need resumes sent to me, I probably won't open them.
• Don't reply to this thread telling me to check out your portfolio at www.freewebs.com/gangstadesignz - I will take a screenshot of it, post it on Reddit, and people will sympathize with your level of intellectuality or lack there of. You want to work for ME - show some effort, ****.
• Overseas? Cool. Speak English. Live in Minnesota? Awesome, I have an office that we can party in in Minneapolis.

If you're still reading, SEND ME AN EMAIL. What do I want to know? Show me some of your work, tell me about your bitch of an exgirlfriend, let's hear about your new car. I want to know about YOU just as much as I want to know about your WORK.

Make sense? Good. Go. josh[at]oxy2.net