1. When you submit your site to topsites, and you get a code but when you search the topsite it says your site cant be found?
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Verifications process? Rejected site? Do check with them. There's a contact us form for a reason.
2. When a topsite crashes and leaves a bunch of text on your site.
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The reciprocal link image is broken when a topsite crashes therefore it changes into link. It's annoying, so do check with topsites regularly and remove the broken codes.
3. The topsite buttons, make your site load slower.
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Yeah, they are to blame. Badly optimize gifs and jpegs. Report the owner of the topsite.