OK, I'm not very creative, so I'm going to take an old holiday class "the night before Christmas" - nerd style :reindeer:

PS. Sorry, I had to make it pro-microsoft, otherwise I would have a lot more trouble rhyming.

Twas the night before Christmas, and no creature was stirring, except for my wireless optical mouse

The CD Drives were opened with care, in hopes, that Sir Bill would place Windows Vista right there

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of hard drives, free software, and RAM danced in their heads;

And mamma on her labtop, and I in with my pocket PC,
Trying to fix the bugs of windows that only experts can see,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to teach those bloody kids some manners.

Away to the window as fast as a T3 1000 megabit connection
Tore open the Windows and threw up the CPU.

The moon on the breast of the newly-created bugs
Gave poor man a heart attack as he fell on the rug,

When he rised again he acknowledged the risk,
but it was worth it, for he saw a miniature sleigh, with eight tiny boot-disks,

With a little old driver, rich enough to kill,
I knew in a moment it must be Sir Bill.

More rapid than eagles his mole people they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Ballmer! now, Jobs! now, Torvalds and Zawinski!
On, Page! on Brin! on, Yang and Skoll*inski*!

To the top of the world! to the top of them all! Oh-no here come the lawyers, run away from them all!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, buy them out high,

So up to the house-top the mole-people they flew,
With the sleigh full of software, and Sir Bill too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Sir Bill came with a bound.

He was dressed all in gold, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with expensive stuff and some loot;

A bundle of software he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! with dimples like ME!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a CD!

His droll little mouth was drawn in like a bin,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the a nerd's skin;

The stump of a wire he held tight in his teeth,
And the electricity it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a keybroad face and a little non-compact belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of floppies.

He was smart and brilliant, and a right jolly old elf,
And I kneeled when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread (for Vista was bug free);

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the hard drive space; then turned the PC on with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside a remote,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he angelicly rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a great Thunder Bird.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night... with the exception ye nerds."


Even if I don't win, I had a ton of fun writing that.